Are you like me? Or are you like THEM?
You know, those people that put things in the microwave for a ludicrously long time and just walk away. As opposed to myself, where I heat things up in short 30 second bursts, convinced something will spark or blow up or overheat or smoke or burst into flame. My nervousness regarding the microwave is something to behold, but I think it's very warranted. Ever put a cup that you didn't realize had steel in it in the microwave? It's like commandos are attacking your kitchen. Ever see a hot dog blow up in the microwave? Me neither, but I know it can happen, and it ain't happening to me.
Who are these people that have such careless regard for the microwave?
Remember when microwaves first came out? They would come with these extensive cookbooks. It was like you could use the microwave to cook anything- roast a chicken, bake a cake. No one actually does that, do they? Here's the one my mom had when we got our first microwave in 1986:
Someone has apparantly had their microwave rosette a carrot. You have to program that feature in. But here's the cookbook my grandmother had that always stymied me:
Behold! On the cover, a ROAST CHICKEN. When I think about it, the only stuff I put in the microwave are things made for it. I never COOK with the thing. It seems like it would be off-putting. But really, back in the day the microwave was the cooking of the future. This gives me a negative viewpoint for eventual food replication, which looked so appetizing as Counselor Troy ordered a triple fudge sundae on Star Trek the Next Generation. (yes, 2nd Star Trek reference in the blog. Geek and freak, right here) What happens if replication "doesn't taste like Mom and Dad's cooking?" Kids will be whining at their exhausted parents, who were at work all day mining Mars, "weeee don't waaaant anything frommm the replicator."
Will we have to child proof the replicator like the internet? Kids can't replicate junk food without prior approval. Cerrtain parents will take it too far. "You can only replicate carrots and apples for snacks".
"Well, I'll just go to Jimmy's house. His parents let him replicate Ding-Dongs!"
Sidenote, how funny of a Star Trek episode would that be if Captain Picard leaned in toward the replicator and said in his English accent....
"Ding-Dong. Cold."
Back to the microwave, I like too how it is considered safe for kids to cook with the microwave. It's not an easy-bake oven. Yes, it is not hot on the outside. But get the wrong dish that seemed microwave safe, and you have a boiling hot scalding bowl to take out of there. And that just isn't worth the Easy Mac.
Weather Watch- I've never seen weather people get so excited as when there is a storm. Weather casters are already stationed in the most strategic positions to get the best "action wind shots". If news, it's not the weather. I trust the radar; no need to confirm the journalistic credibility by seeing people out in abnormally high winds. Paparazzi News: Kanye West got arrested for scrapping with the paparazzi. I would smash their camera too. (and I do, whenever they are following me) People always say, "if you are that famous, you ask for it." My view is, you don't ask to get famous. You work as an actor making no money or as a DJ, or a singer, then you get a role in a big movie, or a record deal (who is going to say no?), people think they know you, and then you're being pursued by a pack of wildebeasts on scooters shouting blasphemies about your mother. I think they need to write a clause for paparazzi that essentially says, you are on your own risk level if you want your pictures. There are nice ones, I've seen it, but then there are some real jerks out there.A Zoinks! Moment- 
Okay, if you want quite a spectacle, head on over to the SciFi channel for Destination Truth. The basis is that a team of "researchers" travel the globe in search of living representatives of myths and tall tales. Let's talk about the one episode I watched and ended up yelling at the TV. These dorks go up to to a deep lake in Iceland looking for a Worm Monster. They wait until night, and then steal out into the loch on a wee boat, traveling with a sonar kit but not much else. They travel to the middle of the foggy lake. Then, gasp! they are lost..with, as the voiceover says, "With no GPS or compass of any kind". Essentially these foghats get themselves in Scooby Doo-like mysteries and do the STUPIDEST thing possible. The lead fellow didn't even wear at hat, and starts complaining, "The temparature is dropping, and we are open to the elements." These people are like the stupid people in a horror movie going into the woods after hearing a horrible noise. "Hey! Who's there? Jimmy is that you? Jimmy, haha stop messing around. He...lll. o.....CRUNCH. GOBBLE." It's extremely irritating and entertaining at the same time.
I Elect to Stop Hearing About the Election. I cannot wait until this thing is over. We haven't even gotten to the debates yet. It's historical in many ways, and it's interesting to watch SOMETIMES, but overload central. But I did find this great T-shirt you can buy on http://www.thinkgeek.com.
I have committed a blog crime. I vanished without notice and without update. I moved so things were a little disorganized for awhile. Thanks for all your hundreds of comments. (Or, you know, the one reader Glen wrote) There will be a crunch for tomorrow. Cheers!
