Friday, July 31, 2009

I'll take an order of Awkward

Why on earth have they not updated the womanly vending machines in public bathrooms? Every single one is like a throwback to 1965, with old font, and complete with the term "sanitary napkin" which describes the 4" thick brick that is dispensed. What the deuce? They now have vending machines in the airport that dispense Best Buy technology. Surely Playtex could come up with something.

When I was five I went to my brother's chorus concert with my mom at the school. I went to the bathroom that was just outside the gym; I knew where it was because I went to school there too, thankyouverymuch. So what did my mother see when I returned? I walked into the gym with a maxi pad on my head.

There's a very good explanation. (good=made sense to me) On those ARCHAIC vending machines in the bathroom there was a picture of a nurse. With a hat on. And since at the school they were free, I turned that metal lever and got me a hat with a nice sticky side to make sure it doesn't fall off your head.

I don't think my mother let me go to the bathroom by myself after that until I was 16. So, although that's one of my favorite "Kathleen was a Strange Child" stories, of whic
h there are too many, I think the whole genre of womanly vending machines needs to be updated.

Anyway, in other lands...

Ok, the beer meeting was ridiculous. I think mojitos would have been a better choice. I haven't seen something so awkward since I walked out of a restroom with a maxi pad on my head. They are planning on meeting again as well. Maybe they can meet in a setting that wasn't planned by your seventh-grade drama teacher.