You know, those people that put things in the microwave for a ludicrously long time and just walk away. As opposed to myself, where I heat things up in short 30 second bursts, convinced something will spark or blow up or overheat or smoke or burst into flame. My nervousness regarding the microwave is something to behold, but I think it's very warranted. Ever put a cup that you didn't realize had steel in it in the microwave? It's like commandos are attacking your kitchen. Ever see a hot dog blow up in the microwave? Me neither, but I know it can happen, and it ain't happening to me.
Who are these people that have such careless regard for the microwave?
Remember when microwaves first came out? They would come with these extensive cookbooks. It was like you could use the microwave to cook anything- roast a chicken, bake a cake. No one actually does that, do they? Here's the one my mom had when we got our first microwave in 1986:
Someone has apparantly had their microwave rosette a carrot. You have to program that feature in. But here's the cookbook my grandmother had that always stymied me:
Behold! On the cover, a ROAST CHICKEN. When I think about it, the only stuff I put in the microwave are things made for it. I never COOK with the thing. It seems like it would be off-putting. But really, back in the day the microwave was the cooking of the future. This gives me a negative viewpoint for eventual food replication, which looked so appetizing as Counselor Troy ordered a triple fudge sundae on Star Trek the Next Generation. (yes, 2nd Star Trek reference in the blog. Geek and freak, right here) What happens if replication "doesn't taste like Mom and Dad's cooking?" Kids will be whining at their exhausted parents, who were at work all day mining Mars, "weeee don't waaaant anything frommm the replicator."
Will we have to child proof the replicator like the internet? Kids can't replicate junk food without prior approval. Cerrtain parents will take it too far. "You can only replicate carrots and apples for snacks".
"Well, I'll just go to Jimmy's house. His parents let him replicate Ding-Dongs!"
Sidenote, how funny of a Star Trek episode would that be if Captain Picard leaned in toward the replicator and said in his English accent....
"Ding-Dong. Cold."
Back to the microwave, I like too how it is considered safe for kids to cook with the microwave. It's not an easy-bake oven. Yes, it is not hot on the outside. But get the wrong dish that seemed microwave safe, and you have a boiling hot scalding bowl to take out of there. And that just isn't worth the Easy Mac.
4 comments:
Now that's a blog! Thank you for putting me in such a good mood this morning...this is a hilarious post. Love your descriptive neurosis of the microwave and your second ST:TNG reference [from one geek to another] ;)
I agree that cooking has no place in such a "dangerous" device; it is a warming unit only. The worst is when someone at the office warms the popcorn too long and the stench of burned kernels lingers for hours.
On a side note, my favorite food on ST:TNG wasn't made in a replicator, but in Data's "dreaming" program, cellular peptide cake with mint frosting...delicious!
very funny!!! personally, i like to microwave peeps during easter, er well i did when i was little. a friend told me it was fun so i went home, took out a peep, stuck it in there on high....and just a minute or 2 later there was marshmellow peep alllll over the microwave...but i must say it got to be the size of a football before said explosion. kids, do not try this at home.
Hmmmmm...no friday Crunch, sure hope you didn't have a microwave accident ;)
I think your job is getting in the way of our entertainment too much :(
Cousin S
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